At the end of each life purpose workshop, we ask participants for their feedback. Having done this over 50 times now, we know a fair amount about how people react to our workshops.

From the start, we thought that people would benefit from the content of our training, and we were right. In addition, we regularly hear about another benefit, one we hadn't even considered. Its existence reflects how the world today shapes our ability to find purpose.

Here’s what we hear: People routinely tell us that they value the space that we create for them. The workshops — which are two four-hour sessions — give time, a place, and freedom from distraction for deep reflection that just doesn’t happen otherwise in life. The guidance works because it has space to be applied.

Last week, we finished up another workshop and, sure enough, at the end, one of the first comments was someone saying how much they appreciated the time to do deep work.

There’s an irony to this feedback. People value us doing something for them that you would think they could do for themselves. Anybody can set aside a large block of time for deep reflection, right? Conceivably yes, but it doesn’t happen often, if at all, for most people. Think about your life. When was the last time that you created several hours of quality, focused time for deep exploration into what matters most in your life? When I ask this of workshop participants, the overwhelming answer is some variation of “never.”

It’s as if our daily life is designed to keep us from having this deep space. How does it do this? Mainly through busyness and distraction.

Busyness comes from many sources. We make goals to reach, expectations to meet, and calendars to follow. There’s always something to do, and if there isn’t, we complain — calling it boredom.

Distraction has a clear champion: our digital devices. Smartphones, tablets, and computers are weapons-grade distractors. They distract us to levels unimaginable before the internet era. For the first time in history, we human beings don’t ever have to be alone with our thoughts if we don’t want to be. Our digital devices provide on-demand dopamine hits that we can fit into any break in our schedule.

Through busyness and distraction, modern society has crowded out extended time for deep reflection. It moves us to live our lives like a rock skipping across the surface of a pond.

This is a barrier to living purposefully.

Yet, in another way, society makes it easier than ever to live purposefully. If we get a vision for a meaningful life, there is untold information, resources, and opportunities for bringing it about.

Pick anything that might be important to you. It could be planting a garden, raising children, visiting Italy, working at a homeless shelter, even clog dancing. Never in the history of humankind has it been easier for more people to be able to do more things. The information and opportunities available online support almost any vision for a meaningful life.

This is the odd shape of modern life. We have far more access to meaningful pursuits, but much less capacity to figure out which ones are ours. Society is generous with the how of a purposeful life and stingy with the what. The result is a strange kind of paralysis: an infinite menu and an inability to choose from it. of a div block.

How do we create this space? A simplistic approach would be to just schedule it. In theory, this should work great. In practice, not so much. Busyness and distraction are powerful foes. To be honest, if I set aside twenty minutes, let alone several hours, to just sit on the couch and think big thoughts, it wouldn’t be long before I am in the kitchen looking for a snack.

A more strategic approach is to fight fire with fire.

Activities crowd out reflection. We can push back by finding activities that generate it. This is what our workshop does. Being a structured activity, it pushes aside competing interests and obligations to give people the space that they need for deep work.

There are many activities that can do this for us. They can be reading a book, listening to a podcast, writing in a journal, having a conversation with a friend, or even just going for a long walk. Each of these activities leads us into extended time with what matters most.

Want specific suggestions? Here are some of my favorite purpose resources.

On the personal side, next week I’m off to see the grandchildren. My oldest son has two sons, aged two and a half and six months. Before they were born, I didn’t think I would be that into being a grandfather. I have plenty of other fulfilling things in my life. Boy, was I wrong. I’m an absolute idiot about it — chasing people down hallways to show them the latest cute pictures. Sadly, my son and his family live on the West Coast, and so we don’t get to be involved in their daily lives as much as we’d like. Trips like this are especially important.

Thank you for this time together. If you want to interact with me about these or other things, send me an email at bradley@bradleywrightphd.com.
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Until next time,

Bradley